Waiting to wake up

Every Internet surfer has their websites. You know, the ones they check every single time they open their browsers. Email accounts. Facebook. The No Joshin' blog. You've got your favorites.

One of my go-to websites is dallasmavericks.com, the official homepage of the Dallas Mavericks. And each time the site loads, an awkward inition thought enters my mind. I feel frustration and anger toward the webmaster. How dare he not update the site to include the playoffs! Why isn't he telling us about how great our Mavericks are doing?! The main story is nothing more than Dirk Nowitzki making the All-NBA 1st Team. What about postseason basketball?!

Then I flash back to what I still am unable to block out of my mind. A sea of yellow t-shirts comprising the largest basketball crowd ever in California cheering on their team without the assistance of the jumbotron to lead them. I flash back to Baron Davis jumping head-first into Nowitzki, beginning to fall and throwing a prayer of a 3-pointer toward the basket. Swish.

I flash back to hearing ESPN spending every moment discussing the collapse of the Mighty Mavericks to their former coach and a bunch of players no one else wanted. I flash back to standing in my friend Jeff's apartment watching the game, my hands on my head, thinking that I was powerless to help the Mavs. I couldn't cheer them on in person. I wouldn't be seeing any playoff basketball this year.

I turned on TNT last night, and there were the Golden State Warriors in front of that monster crowd playing the Utah Jazz for a chance to go to the conference finals. The playoffs continue, even without the Mavericks. Dallas was eliminated and still the postseason exists. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem possible.

The dream season ended in nightmare fashion for Dallas. And every time I log onto the team website I must relive the nightmare. The lack of Mavericks playoff updates is all the reminder I need. I curse the webmaster, wishing he could put some good news up for me, for all Mavs fans everywhere.

But he can't. He can't tell us about playoff games that aren't happening. He can't keep us posted on the results of a team no longer playing.

But still I check my websites every day. Email. Facebook. Dallasmavericks.com. Every day the others offer me something new. And every day I hope that after reading new email and adding new friends, I can get a glimpse of Dirk's dominance. But there's nothing new to say. Only the pain of the Mavs meltdown remains.

I can't wake up from this nightmare. I guess I should just block the Mavs website until next October. Perhaps that's the only way to protect myself from painful flashbacks.