Dumb dentists

Today at my dentist appointment, I realized that I didn't know which was more painful:
(1) waiting in the waiting room
(2) getting poked with the metal hooks
(3) having to come back because the hygenist doesn't know her right from her left

First, I got there for my 1:00pm appointment, but didn't get in until about 1:15pm because the entire office went out to lunch. That was brutal only because as I looked around, I saw every magazine for women ever created. Not one Sports Illustrated. Not even a Newsweek. The only copy of Time was already claimed by another helpless victim of the waiting room.

I finally got into the room, and the hygenist got to work picking at my teeth with those metal hooks. The problem for me is that I have permenant metal retainer wire things on the back of my upper and lower front teeth. It was glued directly onto the back of those teeth with no room in between.

I've had that retainer there for 4 years, and the hygenist - the same one I've had all these year - must always try to get in between the wire and my teeth with that hook. It's never once worked, but every time she has to try digging into my tooth in order to try to get in between.

And it freakin' hurts.

Naturally, when something hurts at the dentist, I - like most other people probably do - say "ouch" or "ow" to let her know. So she digs in to my gum or my tooth or some part of my mouth that didn't think it felt good, so I let out a "ouch!"

"Oh, did that hurt?" she asked me.

Did that hurt? Did that hurt?!? Why do you think I said "ouch!"? Please stop trying to kill me by trying to get between a wire and my tooth, which is something you've never been able to do!

As if that wasn't bad enough, when the dentist came in, he told her to retake my upper-left x-rays. She re-did it, but while she was doing it, I thought it was weird because she was x-raying my right side. I just assumed that even though I thought I heard the dentist say "left" that it must be the dentist's left, not the patient's left.

So I got the x-rays done and left. I had just hit the road when I got a phone call from my sister (who was at the dentist's office waiting on her appointment). She said I had to come back to the dentist's office. At first, I thought she was kidding, but she insisted.

I got back and the hygenist said that she had to redo the x-rays because she didn't do the correct side. Thought so. Turns out, when the dentist says "left" it does mean the patient's left. That's great.

Don't you just love the dentist? You know I do :-)